I don't think I've ever asked for advice on the blog before, but I could use some this week. If you can help me understand what this mood/mode/mental state is that I've been locked in for a month, I'd appreciate your insight. -=- This week's therapy session was as chaotic as most of them have … Continue reading Negative Benefits; One-Way Portals; Everything is Transitory: Therapy Diary, Feb. 11-13
Category: Musings
The Second Arrow: Therapy Diary, Sept. 4-10, 2020
The Two Monks and the Girl Once upon a time, there were two monks traveling through a forest. In the morning they came across a river in flood. There was a young woman standing at the ford, unable to cross, as she was too small to brave the rushing river. The older monk asked if … Continue reading The Second Arrow: Therapy Diary, Sept. 4-10, 2020
Fragility and Strength
The demand that we be strong all the time leads to errors of thinking and to errors of goal-setting. It is based on the idea that we can avoid damage or injury by being too tough to hurt. It keeps us from exploring the possibilities inherent in delicacy. We tell ourselves that we must be … Continue reading Fragility and Strength
118 Hours
"...the invitation of zen practice is to see everything as important. But to do so we have to have a basic capacity to hold difficult experience without pushing it away. That is why it is so important to sit on a daily basis. To learn to hold tension, or impatience, or anger, or sadness, or … Continue reading 118 Hours
The Fearful Dog and the Happy Dog
I was thinking yesterday about the story I see online every couple years, the one that talks about how the wolf you feed is the one that wins. It occurred to me that my brain is like two dogs, not two wolves. If you've ever met a dog that was mistreated when it was younger, … Continue reading The Fearful Dog and the Happy Dog
Validation, Perception, Interpretation, Binary Thinking, and the Weedy Garden
I've been wanting to write a new blog post for a few weeks, but haven't been able to find a 'hook' that will let me get started. My writing output is intermittent because I generally only write when I get angry, or have had an insight of some sort. Even then, I have to get … Continue reading Validation, Perception, Interpretation, Binary Thinking, and the Weedy Garden
Patience, Juggling, and Other People: Therapy Diary for October 30, 2019
It has been nearly a week since my last therapy session. It was a particularly enlightening session, and I had so much to write about, but a combination of being busy and a reluctance (manifested in procrastination) to actually sit down and write has led me to this frustrating situation where I've forgotten most of … Continue reading Patience, Juggling, and Other People: Therapy Diary for October 30, 2019
The Butterfly
During my last couple of therapy sessions, we've been discussing my problems with anger, and as a sub theme, my problems with traffic (historically, road rage has been my biggest, most 'reliable' anger trigger). I'd had some minor insights into possible roots of my frustration and rage, and the discussion wandered back to one of … Continue reading The Butterfly
The Butterfly and Me
[ Content Warning: This therapy diary entry references bullying and suicidal ideation. ] Once upon a time, many years ago, a boy was born. In most ways, this was entirely unremarkable. Boys are born all the time, and the boy’s family wasn’t unusual. It was a large family, but families were larger back then than … Continue reading The Butterfly and Me
The Boy, the Man, and the Butterfly (a story)
[ Content Warning: This story references bullying and suicidal ideation. ] Once upon a time, many years ago, a boy was born. In most ways, this was entirely unremarkable. Boys are born all the time, and the boy’s family wasn’t unusual. It was a large family, but families were larger back then than they tend … Continue reading The Boy, the Man, and the Butterfly (a story)