One of the greatest benefits of therapy for me is being able to see my disordered thinking & reactions not as shameful failure, but as traces of old coping patterns that might, with gentle care, be untangled. I knew a guy years ago who had been in a car wreck as a teen and had … Continue reading Therapy Diary, August 28, 2021
Anxiety & Catastrophic Thinking – Therapy Diary, March 4, 2021
No therapy this week, but I had a bad night last night, and thought I would jot down a few notes. We have always had cats, since before we got married, but the six-month-old brother & sister pair who showed up on our porch 15 months ago are unusual in how loving they are. The … Continue reading Anxiety & Catastrophic Thinking – Therapy Diary, March 4, 2021
Insert Pithy Title Here: Therapy Diary, Feb. 18-27, 2021
Last week's therapy session was very intense. I wanted to write about it that very evening, but I worked late, and by the time we finished supper I was too tired to write. I also felt that I had to write something impressive for my friend L, and since I couldn't picture what I'd write … Continue reading Insert Pithy Title Here: Therapy Diary, Feb. 18-27, 2021
Negative Benefits; One-Way Portals; Everything is Transitory: Therapy Diary, Feb. 11-13
I don't think I've ever asked for advice on the blog before, but I could use some this week. If you can help me understand what this mood/mode/mental state is that I've been locked in for a month, I'd appreciate your insight. -=- This week's therapy session was as chaotic as most of them have … Continue reading Negative Benefits; One-Way Portals; Everything is Transitory: Therapy Diary, Feb. 11-13
Why I’m taking a break from martial arts
Note: I've been training at a martial arts dojo several times a week for the last six years. After seven months or so of remote learning via video feed, I realized that I was getting very tense and resistant to attending training. After thinking about it for a couple of months, I decided to take … Continue reading Why I’m taking a break from martial arts
The Second Arrow: Therapy Diary, Sept. 4-10, 2020
The Two Monks and the Girl Once upon a time, there were two monks traveling through a forest. In the morning they came across a river in flood. There was a young woman standing at the ford, unable to cross, as she was too small to brave the rushing river. The older monk asked if … Continue reading The Second Arrow: Therapy Diary, Sept. 4-10, 2020
Therapy Diary for May 31, 2020
Okay. So. I usually try to write coherent articles for this blog, but I can’t find much coherence in my mind today. But I also know that writing my thoughts out often helps me understand them better, and settles some of the internal chaos, so I’m just going to write. I usually hope that people … Continue reading Therapy Diary for May 31, 2020
Fragility and Strength
The demand that we be strong all the time leads to errors of thinking and to errors of goal-setting. It is based on the idea that we can avoid damage or injury by being too tough to hurt. It keeps us from exploring the possibilities inherent in delicacy. We tell ourselves that we must be … Continue reading Fragility and Strength
118 Hours
"...the invitation of zen practice is to see everything as important. But to do so we have to have a basic capacity to hold difficult experience without pushing it away. That is why it is so important to sit on a daily basis. To learn to hold tension, or impatience, or anger, or sadness, or … Continue reading 118 Hours
The Fearful Dog and the Happy Dog
I was thinking yesterday about the story I see online every couple years, the one that talks about how the wolf you feed is the one that wins. It occurred to me that my brain is like two dogs, not two wolves. If you've ever met a dog that was mistreated when it was younger, … Continue reading The Fearful Dog and the Happy Dog