I don't think I've ever asked for advice on the blog before, but I could use some this week. If you can help me understand what this mood/mode/mental state is that I've been locked in for a month, I'd appreciate your insight. -=- This week's therapy session was as chaotic as most of them have … Continue reading Negative Benefits; One-Way Portals; Everything is Transitory: Therapy Diary, Feb. 11-13
Author: Moss
I'm a guy in my 60s writing about my therapy and my life healing from Borderline Personality Disorder. I also tweet about BPD on this Twitter account: https://twitter.com/BorderlineMe1
The Second Arrow: Therapy Diary, Sept. 4-10, 2020
The Two Monks and the Girl Once upon a time, there were two monks traveling through a forest. In the morning they came across a river in flood. There was a young woman standing at the ford, unable to cross, as she was too small to brave the rushing river. The older monk asked if … Continue reading The Second Arrow: Therapy Diary, Sept. 4-10, 2020
Fragility and Strength
The demand that we be strong all the time leads to errors of thinking and to errors of goal-setting. It is based on the idea that we can avoid damage or injury by being too tough to hurt. It keeps us from exploring the possibilities inherent in delicacy. We tell ourselves that we must be … Continue reading Fragility and Strength
118 Hours
"...the invitation of zen practice is to see everything as important. But to do so we have to have a basic capacity to hold difficult experience without pushing it away. That is why it is so important to sit on a daily basis. To learn to hold tension, or impatience, or anger, or sadness, or … Continue reading 118 Hours
The Fearful Dog and the Happy Dog
I was thinking yesterday about the story I see online every couple years, the one that talks about how the wolf you feed is the one that wins. It occurred to me that my brain is like two dogs, not two wolves. If you've ever met a dog that was mistreated when it was younger, … Continue reading The Fearful Dog and the Happy Dog
Validation, Perception, Interpretation, Binary Thinking, and the Weedy Garden
I've been wanting to write a new blog post for a few weeks, but haven't been able to find a 'hook' that will let me get started. My writing output is intermittent because I generally only write when I get angry, or have had an insight of some sort. Even then, I have to get … Continue reading Validation, Perception, Interpretation, Binary Thinking, and the Weedy Garden
Patience, Juggling, and Other People: Therapy Diary for October 30, 2019
It has been nearly a week since my last therapy session. It was a particularly enlightening session, and I had so much to write about, but a combination of being busy and a reluctance (manifested in procrastination) to actually sit down and write has led me to this frustrating situation where I've forgotten most of … Continue reading Patience, Juggling, and Other People: Therapy Diary for October 30, 2019
Colors (a SF story which in no way is meant to be an allegory*)
Roxxy woke up one morning to discover that all of the paint in the world had gone mad. Really, it wasn't even just paint. Every color had shifted a few degrees to the left, so to speak. She first noticed the walls of her room, though, where the slightly off-white had changed to a light … Continue reading Colors (a SF story which in no way is meant to be an allegory*)
The Buddha was a Borderline
I mean... seriously. "Life is suffering." "Suffering can be overcome." That using tools like... the right understanding, the correct thoughts, the right speech, correct action, the right livelihood, correct effort, mindfulness, and concentration helps you overcome suffering. The idea that the word 'suffering' can also be translated as 'disordered thinking.' That the self is an … Continue reading The Buddha was a Borderline
Therapy Journal – March 25
Note: My therapist has been trying to get me to just sit with powerful emotions I'm feeling... stay with it as long as I can. Observe without making a judgement. I think that this is to move me away from automatic coping behaviors & start desensitizing me to the worst of them, without invalidating myself … Continue reading Therapy Journal – March 25