I recently read a fascinating blog post called 'Why do we wake around 3am and dwell on our fears and shortcomings?' The author, Greg Murray, mentions 'barbed-wire thinking,' meaning thoughts you get caught up in. He describes why your thinking at 3 a.m. tends to be so problematic. This section really grabbed my attention: "we also … Continue reading Three A.M. Catastrophizing & BPD
Okay. So. I usually try to write coherent articles for this blog, but I can’t find much coherence in my mind today. But I also know that writing my thoughts out often helps me understand them better, and settles some of the internal chaos, so I’m just going to write. I usually hope that people … Continue reading Therapy Diary for May 31, 2020
After last week's therapy session, I found myself stuck on an idea: That I don't, in fact, have BPD, but am just a self-indulgent, overgrown child. The 'evidence' that I compiled in support of this hypothesis includes: When I'm feeling down I will do things like eating sweets to the point of being ill. I … Continue reading I think there’s a frightened kid living in my head.
Trigger warnings: Discussion of suicidal thinking and splitting. As I've mentioned in previous posts, I only got my diagnosis (DX) late last year, so I'm still learning about what Borderline Personality Disorder is. I'm very much aware that a person is not their diagnosis. I treat my DX as a chance to learn ways to … Continue reading I hate my brain (Life and the Fine Art of Learning Perspective)
He who hesitates is lost, or so the aphorism goes. However, in the face of an overwhelming emotion or a frightening, threatening event, I’ve found that a slight hesitation can make the critical difference between doing something I regret and doing something skillful. For the last four years, I have been studying a martial art … Continue reading Hesitation